We CAN Transform Self-Doubt or Any Negative Emotion!
First lets begin by “reclassifying” negative emotions. We were never meant to hold onto emotions. Have you ever heard the saying E-motions are Energy-In-Motion? This means emotions will move through us if we allow them. This requires us to develop new habits of letting go. And for some crazy reason we do tend to hang on to the more negative emotions which makes them seem even worse! Self-Doubt is one of the more disempowering or toxic states of mind. Some people are the type that want others to doubt themselves so they can feel better about themselves, manipulate others, take advantage of others or just to be dominant. We do need to take good care of ourselves by setting clear boundaries and making sure we have little to no contact with such people but sometimes that’s impossible, or we make mistakes, or life brings us yet another person who shows us where we are vulnerable. This is all OK. I know it hurts and can be very challenging. But we can recover and we can transform self-doubt as well as any other negative emotion. We can start by looking at some basics.
Most of us live in states of mind that are less than empowering. One of the primary reasons for this is conditioning. For instance, some people think there is a “God” that will punish them if they step into a new place of trusting themselves because then they won’t be accepting “God’s Authority.” Personally, I don’t believe god is “out there” separate from us. I believe we are part of an Infinite Universe that supports us. “It’s an Inside Job” is a saying originated in Alcoholics Anonymous, but has now been widely used throughout many teachings. Bruce Lipton , the famous cell biologist says says “the function of the mind is to create coherence between beliefs and reality.” What this means is that are all capable of experiencing reality differently by changing our minds! We can also trick ourselves into seeing a world that is out to get us, or one that is in support of us, and anything in between (there are many other options too). I once attended a lecture by Donald Epstein the creator of Network Chiropractic. He said “You’re going to have a story, so you might as well make it a good one.” At the time I thought this sounded like a good idea, but now I wonder what life can be like without a story at all! Now that takes some practice!
I am offering 3 Tones of Empowerment as a free report to download by clicking on the button above. When we use these 3 Tones–Balance, Authenticity and Resilience–they can help us heal. When we really take them to heart and integrate them into our lives they are powerful alone. But, when we combine them with The Life Addictions™ Course we see we have even more opportunity to unleash energy we have kept trapped in secret hiding places, hidden from even ourselves. Please remember the word “addiction” is not meant to imply that you are doing anything “wrong.” This program is about being kind to yourself not judging or berating yourself for things you think you’ve done wrong. We do, however, have chemical habits that aren’t supportive. And, We are All Waking UP! And, as you will see if you follow these posts, addiction was a blessing for me, not a “disease,” but instead dis-ease I have transformed. We all have chemical habits we produce through ingesting a substance, other behaviors we engage in consistently, or how we think! We can change the chemical habits in our systems by changing our minds. Seeing my substance abuse, and changing those habits made my quality of life improve dramatically! Seeing these more subtle ways in which we misuse the mind that trap energy by setting up chemical habits can be easier than getting sober from drugs and alcohol, or it might be harder to keep it up because its more subtle. The living beyond Life Addictions™ Course is something I want to offer anyone who truly wants to learn. In addition, The Life Addictions™ Course offers a way to enhance our lives by freeing energy trapped in illusion. They each overlap and they are the overarching, or predominant illusions we engage in. Acknowledging this can free us from falsehoods. So here they are in list form:
- The Illusion of Control
- The Illusion of Permanence
- The Illusion of Separation
- The Illusion of Time
- The Illusion of Truth
- The Illusion of Responsibility
- The Illusion of Subservience
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How I Transformed Self-Doubt and Channeled the Very Same Energy Into Confident Self-Trust.
As I started to write this blog post I realized I was writing it because there was a little more to add to my last post. I was feeling some doubt! I was second-guessing myself thinking, “Who am I to talk about the field of addictions and how it seems to be changing?” I am not a researcher! Then I remembered that I have been studying and treating addictions for 30 years! I also realized the reason why I was feeling a little angst is because I do have something unique to say, and something that adds value. I remembered that when I was in college after I got sober and I knew Dr. Madsen, the professor I mentioned in my last post, he was in a bit of an academic battle with philosophy professor regarding addiction not being “a disease.” The argument was that because people “chose” to drink or do drugs, it could not be a disease. Personally I don’t care if we call it a disease, but as with many other things we do to ourselves, dis-ease is an appropriate and useful perspective. I was also feeling a little triggered by the new look at addictions saying it is caused by childhood trauma. We were taught both in AA & in training to be a counselor this wasn’t the case. Again I don’t care what causes addiction. I am far more interested in how to free people from anything we do to ourselves that is disempowering. For me substance abuse was and is a “spiritual” problem, or one that lies in consciousness. I think more like Dr. David Hawkins. He says, “Man is stuck with is lack of knowledge about himself until he can learn to look beyond apparent causes. From the human record, we may note that answers never arise by identifying “causes” in the world. Instead, its necessary to identify the conditions that underlie ostensible causes; and these conditions exist only within man’s consciousness itself. No definitive answer to any problem can be found by isolating sequences of events and projecting on them a mental notion of “causality.” There are no causes within the observable world…the observable world is a world of effects.” Perhaps we could say this is what this new look at addictions is saying but then we should be talking about the combination of nature and nurture as Dr. Madsen was teaching his students when I met him back in the mid 80’s. And, I am always left with thinking about those who have suffered childhood abuse or neglect but have NOT become addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Since I successfully freed myself from drugs and alcohol and even later successfully quit cigarettes I have an insiders perspective on addictions. With the emergence of the field of epigenetics (how we can turn genes on and off at the cell membrane) I am far more interested in looking at how we are shaping our bodies, what we are doing with our minds, and how we are creating systems to live by that are not in alignment with how the energy of life naturally unfolds. This is where my perspective enters the picture. There is so much that is unnatural in the world, in our lives and in our systems that it is no wonder we feel self-doubt and second-guess ourselves. We live in an environment that is steeped in falsehoods, artificial structures and as a result we are constantly encouraged to “leave ourselves.” In fact I could even say that we are living in a society that traumatizes us, because we end up feeling we have to follow along and live in ways that are out of synch with our “natural selves.” Maybe I’m idealistic, but I do not think we need to go along with the crowd or live in ways that make us feel bad. Trying to juggle our own natural or innate tendencies with the demands we perceive to be coming from “life” can create conflict where we end up unconsciously believing we have to give in to social pressure instead of listening to our own inner guidance. Self-doubt may be a natural side effect of modern life! There are certainly other problems that result from our modern lifestyles but self-doubt or second-guessing yourself is the first problem we will address using The Life Addictions™ Course. Please keep in mind there is no reason to feel bad because of the word “addiction.” I’m not calling anyone an addict or suggesting you believe something, or anything. This program is a look at how we misuse the mind, adopt false beliefs, how powerful they can be, and most important how to free yourself from false structures that are created when the mind is out of balance.
So I will quote what many teachers with integrity say,
Don’t Listen to Me, or just believe what I am saying, CHECK FOR YOURSELF! You know best what is true for you, what works for you. How to get in touch with that and live by it is why we are here! That is what this new course is about! If this speaks to you, please click the button below to subscribe to our list & sign up for our free report!
Unlimited Psychology, LLC © 2015 All Rights Reserved
There has been some new information about the cause of addiction that has been getting a lot of attention in the media lately! I was first introduced to a book called Chasing the Scream by one of my wonderful kiwi friends while on a trip to Australia. We had just met, but jumped right into a wonderfully stimulating discussion about addiction because she’s a drug an alcohol counselor too! The actual source of this information is a book called In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, MD and Peter Levine, PhD. Myself I’m not so concerned with what causes addiction, but how to heal, transform and change people’s lives for the better, mine included. These authors say the cause is very important, it is childhood trauma and that the “disease” model is flawed. (I think we have others things that are keeping us trapped as well, but more on that in my next blog)
For many years I have been an addictions counselor. I have seen people from all different levels of society, age ranges and cultural backgrounds suffer from drug or alcohol abuse. I was so very lucky to have been introduced to a wonderful man that I’m not sure many people know. His name was Dr William Madsen. He passed away in 2004 but I had the great fortune to be one of his students back in 1985 at UC Santa Barbara. He was an anthropologist who wrote a book called The American Alcoholic. He studied addictions in the context of culture as an anthropologist. There are different cultural patterns of addiction when it comes to drug and alcohol abuse, but that’s not what I want to share with you today. Dr Madsen was there when Alcoholics Anonymous was still forming. He knew the founders and others whose names are not so well known. He studied AA as a culture itself! He was a wonderful mentor to us young and newly sober college students who were in his course called “Anthropological Approaches to Addiction.” He would whisper little things to us out of the side of his mouth that were kind of hard to understand but came in very handy later. He said things like, “god’s will for you is your will for yourself,” referring to the third step which reads, ” We turned our will and our lives over to God as we understood God.” Of course in religious circles this might sound heretical but I have found it to be very true! In fact I would say it is our job to get out of our own way and really take the time to get in touch with what we want. We may not want to live the way we were taught we were “supposed to!” Now that I am sitting here in this present time I see Dr Madsen as a rebel of sorts. Not that he ever interfered with my recovery. He didn’t. This is why I feel a little hesitant to jump right in with this new wave of energy about the likely cause of addiction. I have a no problem with us healing unresolved trauma as this new perspective suggests. In fact this should and is impacting the treatment of addictions. That’s just common sense and good advice, whether or not a person has an addiction to a substance. But I do feel concerned that those who are vulnerable like I was in the beginning may take this new perspective the wrong way and say…well if it isn’t the drugs causing the addiction then I can heal trauma and use and drink to my hearts content! The person abusing alcohol or drugs has conditioned themselves in a very strong way to be more likely to use drugs or alcohol. There is no end to this pursuit. That is the meaning of ” the realm of the hungry ghost.” I have seen many people die when no one thought they were going to drink or use again. We just don’t know who is going to relapse or when. The problem is that they end up very vulnerable to accidentally killing themselves because they had no sense that their tolerance had recovered, if only for a brief time. They they drank or used like they did at the height of their abuse but this time it killed them!
In fact what I am left hearing at this moment is Dr Madsen saying what he always said to his class, “is it nature or nurture? What is the cause?” He spent his life looking at this question and like a good researcher did not settle on one answer but kept refining the questions he asked, looking for the most relevant. I do wish he were alive an able to discuss this “new” information. Maybe the question of cause has been answered now, maybe not, but we still need to be very sensitive to the person who is new to recovery or anyone who may have a chance at succeeding like I did. We should give them every chance because recovery is possible.! Dr. Madsen was a great advocate for the person suffering from alcoholism. He said to his class, “perhaps the alcoholic doesn’t need to worry about going to hell…..he or she has already been there!” I feel wary of putting information out to the public that gives anyone in a vulnerable position another reason to drink or use. It is a hell to live with addiction to substances.
Despite the horrible consequences there are successes as well. They don’t get much press because, as Dr. Madsen used to say, ” what if you don’t see them because they’ve ‘returned to normal life” as the 12 promises in the Big Book of AA says!” We don’t hear this much. And as I hinted at in the beginning of this blog there may be an even better, different or more fulfilling ” normal” that we can create for ourselves and together.
Want to find out more? Read my next blog…or hit the contact button to find out how to be a part of my pilot program.
Or leave a comment…I’d love to have you join the discussion!
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This is a new approach to counseling and coaching….let’s agree not use that psychotherapy word OK…When broken up the word psychotherapist reads psycho-the-rapist! We are breaking free from the limitations that no longer serve us so lets go of that word too! The words counseling and coaching don’t do this program justice either but we have to have some way to communicate so here goes! Really people are amazing and life is a magical transformational journey. We’ve been led to believe we are not so amazing and not so capable but the truth is we are! And getting the hang of living in ways that support life are not as hard as we think. Conditioning has been leading us down the wrong path. Moments in life occur that show us we are more than we realize. Here are some examples…have you ever thought of a brilliant solution to something you thought was unsolvable…in the shower! I know I have! How about just a simple Ahah moment that seemed to come from nowhere? We’ve all had those! Or a dream that shows you a different way of looking at something in your life that had you stumped. Road trips or other types of travel can also ignite seemingly out of the blue solutions to “problems.” In fact what if these problems weren’t really even problems at all! What if we saw them as puzzles with solutions that are coming…they are on their way to us…NOW!
Unlimited Psychology, LLC © 2015 All Rights Reserved